Kevin Teacher!

Written January 24th

My favorite class

“If you could fly anywhere in the world, where would you go?”  I asked a classroom of six year olds. 

They could be five years old or seven years old for all I know.  I don’t consider myself to have any particular talent for guessing age.  In fact, I would say that my age guessing abilities are average at best.  I just try to always follow two simple rules:

1.     If someone is obviously older than thirty you aim low (especially if female).
2.     If it’s a teenager you aim high.  Calling a fifteen year old thirteen is an unforgivable offense.

Koreans complicate the matter of age guessing.  They follow East Asian age reckoning.  Newborns start life at one year old. Furthermore, everyone becomes one year older with each passing New Year.  This means that those babies born on December 29^th will be two years old in a matter of days after birth!  Imagine the confused expectations. 

“Your child is two years old and still can’t crawl (gasp)?”

But I digress. 

The question I asked the class was,

“If you could fly anywhere in the world, where would you go?”

A tiny fist jabs the air.  Not an open palm hand mind you, a fist.  This kid means business. The fist belongs to Ken, an imaginative young boy with Harry Potter-Esque glasses who either dresses himself or has very unconventional parents. And he is ready with an answer.  It’s as if he has been waiting his entire five-to-seven year old life for someone to ask him where he would fly to.  Finally, Ken's time has arrived.

“The Movie Theatre.”  He blurts excitedly without hesitation when he sees me glance at him.  I didn’t even have to say his name.

Great answer.  I can't help but smile.  Who needs Hawaii or the Maldives when you can go see Mega Mind and maybe even get your hands on some candy?

The two Kevin's

This is my workday world. 

I may have a “supervisor” who observes a class of mine every week or two but she’s not who I am working for.  She’s not what motivates me.  My real performance reviews come from pint-sized, candy addicts who compete furiously for stars and stickers.  And they are a demanding group. 

Teach too slowly and they grow bored.  Teach too quickly and they get confused.  You have to keep them occupied at all times or they will find ways to entertain themselves.  Unfortunately, a child’s favorite way of entertaining himself is by distracting his classmates.  Domino effect.  If the attention of one kid slips you lose control of everything faster than Lindsey Lohan swerving on an L.A. freeway after a night of cocaine and Long Island Ice Tea’s at some hipster club with a duchy and ironic name.

My students are unpredictable and emotional.  But most importantly they are almost always happy.  Their smiles and laughter are contagious.  How can I complain?  What stress does my job have?  Teaching English is great.  I have 22 years practical experience.

My day is no scene from Office Space. It more closely resembles a scene from Kindergarten Cop.

Outside the classroom I am in something of a limbo period.  A combination of cold weather and lack of funds (I have only been paid for two weeks work so far) leave me unable to yet explore all that comes with being in a foreign country. 

That is not to say that I don’t have ways to occupy my free time.  Golf and exercise continue to be great outlets for my energy.  I am also reading plenty and getting through the TV Show Dexter (highly recommended) at an alarming rate. 

My ability to fend for myself in the culinary world is growing.  Yes, I am cooking.  No  Crème brûlée or Roasted Pheasant yet but until six weeks ago anything beyond a microwave meal was seen as unchartered waters.  This has been a long overdue wake up in independence.  Cooking is just the tip of that iceberg.

Day trips and beyond are in the works.  In the not too distant future I hope to:

-Go on a trip to China with a British friend

-Visit the DMZ (I have to lay my eyes on the most deranged country in the world)

-Have an overnight stay in a Buddhist Temple complete with 3 A.M. Monk chanting

-Hike Korea’s highest point on tropical Jeju Island (Mt. Halla-san, an inactive volcano)

And of course I look forward to an inebriated Taylor Swift concert at Olympic Stadium next month.  This concert will undoubtedly be the crown jewel of my time in Korea.

I hope you are all doing very well.  I would love to hear from you.  Facebook, Skype (kevin.tower1) and e-mail are good options.  If you’re feeling crazy fly on over and if your feeling old fashioned write a letter in cursive!

Regards,

Kevin

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